Mother's Day can mean many things to many people. Some people long to become a mother and Mother's Day is just another reminder of what they aren't. Others have experienced the extreme pain of losing a child. Some people are mom's but their own mothers have passed away. Some mothers have chosen adoption for their children and they have their own struggles on this day. I am sure there are other situations I have left out. But to be honest, Mother's Day can be hard for some people. For me, it is a mixed bag of emotions. For about 10 years Mother's Day would come and go and I had nobody to call me "Mom". The first few years were ok because, well, it was only a few years. I was still finishing my schooling so it wasn't a big deal, we weren't really "trying" in those early days so the emotions weren't really there. However, once I started teaching and we started trying to start a family each Mother's Day would become a little more difficult for me. Perhaps the hardest one for me was in 2004. We were waiting on pins and needles to "get the call" to go get Travis. I couldn't even bring myself to go to church that day. The thought of sitting there while all of the other mother's stood up for their blessing was more than I could handle. Even though I have had the most wonderful Mother's Days ever since Travis has been home (and now Connor too) I still remember how hard those times were when I didn't actually have my children physically with me. I always remember how I felt back then and I always say a prayer for all of the moms in the world who are now in the shoes I used to be in for so many years. The great part about all of this is that over time I have come to appreciate and understand more from my own life experiences. For example, fast forward to Mother's Day 2008. That was the day Daryle and I decided to move forward towards adopting our second child. Little did we know at that time that he was just one month away from being born. I don't think any of this is just coincidence. I can see God's hand at work in all of it. It is amazing, miraculous, and humbling all at once. It is wonderful to be able to experience such grace in my life. Now not only do I cherish every moment of being a mom, I have two birth mothers to remember as well. To wish for them health, love, and happiness. I hope and pray that they have found peace in their decisions. I pray that they know their sons are both so deeply loved by their forever families. I pray that those women know in their hearts that I will do my best to let my sons know that they made the ultimate sacrifice for them. I hope one day that my boys understand all of this. And that they too find peace.
On Wednesday when I picked up Connor from school he gave me this present.
I just love hand prints on things! Precious! The rose was just the icing on the cake! Here is the rest of the stuff I got on Sunday morning. I just love the school crafts. The flowers from my boys were an added bonus!
Connor decided to work on making me a fried orange in his kitchen. I love watching his imagination at work. Let me tell you, he has a BIG imagination! You should have seen him cooking away. As you can see from that plate he was cooking me up quite a dinner!
Here are all the choices I had.
I am not sure exactly what role the wrestlers were playing in all of this! lol
Here are a few pictures from Travis' last baseball game this week. He has decided he also likes to be catcher. I know it is hard to tell, but yes, that is him under all of that equipment!
I love being a mom. Even on the rough days. Some days I just don't know what to do, how to react and I wonder if I am messing it all up. I sometimes ask God, "Why is this so hard? Why did you send me these particular children to raise?" I never have to wait long for an answer. He always reminds me immediately. He chose us for a reason. Parenthood is not easy. We can, and we will, get through it. Why choose the easy road? How do you learn from that? We may not know the exact reasons now, but one day we will. I have peace in that. For now I know without a doubt that I love my sons with my whole heart and soul. They are a part of me, they always have been and they always will be. Nothing is more precious to me than being a mom to my kids. I just hope and pray I am doing it right!
2 comments:
This made me cry. I can't imagine the heartache women experience when their desire to be a mother doesn't work out. After I had my miscarriage, the one thing that kept me from sinking completely to the bottom was Clara. I was constantly thinking, How do people go through this when they don't already have a child? Because if I never had another baby again, at least I had Clara.
You are such a loving mom and I think that is the most important quality to have. :)
Beautiful. You are a superb Mom, the very best.
Post a Comment