Reflecting

Instead of sleeping, like I should be, I have been messing around on the computer. It is amazing how many blogs are out there sharing other families adoption stories. I get addicted quickly to reading all about them. They are all so touching and uplifting. Many people also have quotes on there somewhere and tonight I just saw another one that really caught my eye. It says:

"Adopting one child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."
I can't tell you how that one statement holds so much truth that I see right here in my own children. Those of you that know Travis' history, who know how sick he had been before we got him, know that is world DID change. There is no telling what his life would have been like had he not come to our family, I don't even like to think about that. Now we have Connor. Our unexpected surprise that we didn't even know we were missing in our lives. His world has changed too, that goes without saying.

Now that Connor is here, it feels like he has always been here. In fact, I look back and I know that we have been praying and thinking of him since the day he was born. We knew he was out there somewhere, we just had to find him. He has been a part of our lives even though we weren't a part of his life until now. Last summer I kept telling Daryle that I knew our child had been born, I had this feeling he was born in the spring, some time around May or so. I was close, he was born June 15! When we had our first referral, I was a bit shocked and surprised because his birthday was in October. I thought, "Oh well, I guess I was wrong." And I was glad I hadn't told anybody so I didn't look foolish. I also think there is a big reason why I couldn't decide on the name of the other referral. He was not a Connor to me, he was a Matthew. This I knew, I just had to convince Daryle. Looking back, I now understand why I had such conflict with this. There was a reason I wasn't attaching the name to that little guy, our Connor was still out there, and he was born in the Spring. (technically anyway!) That quote means a lot to me, I don't know who to give credit to, but I really like it, a lot.

Sorry, no pictures today and sorry for getting all sentimental on you. I will try to put some pictures on this weekend. Right now it has been an up and down week around here. Connor is doing great, we are just dealing with a lot of jealousy issues. I knew this would happen, it is just difficult right now. This evening was especially hard. Daryle and I had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with Travis tonight. (My friends in Memphis always said that, I thought it was funny, now I understand it in a different way! haha!) I am keeping my fingers crossed and saying lots of prayers that what we said to him is sinking into his head as he sleeps tonight. Tonight Travis asked me if I would still pick him up and carry him around, like how I carry Connor around. I told him that even if I didn't have Connor to carry, that he was getting much too big for that. (He weighs 48 pounds for crying out loud!) We also discussed how first graders don't get carried around anymore. That seemed to put things in perspective for him, for now anyway. Goodness, we have issues! That is just one example of what is going on around here these days. I have my work cut out for me, that's for sure.

I always worried about bonding and attaching with my boys before I got them home....well, worry no more! These boys are attached to my hip forever, not to mention my heart!!